Philosophy of Living Life

For some reason lately I've been thinking a lot about how to live life.  Maybe it's the fact that I've become a great Stay at Home Mom - finally accepted the fact that someone else pays my bills (or should be, anyway...) and embraced motherhood to the fullest extent.  Maybe it's the fact that I miss NYC and am trying to convince myself to spend money I shouldn't on a trip out there (brakes on a car should be repaired before jetting to another city, right?)  Or maybe it's just that watching a 4 year old enjoy herself makes me want to live carefree and enjoy myself.
Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy myself.  I love my life!  My daughter is the most wonderful thing to have ever happened to me.  And I think she is the reason I have decided to philosophize about life.  I want to be sure I give her everything she could possibly need to live a happy. long, and successful life.  But the definition of "success" is so different to everyone that I want to be sure to give her all kinds of options to explore and allow her to create her own definition.
So let's get back to life...
Responsibility is the number one thing people should live up to.  It just should be that way!  You are responsible for your own life: food, clothing, shelter, love, and the food, clothing, shelter, and love of any offspring you produce.  If you cannot provide this, then find a way!  Once these things are covered you can begin to work your way up Maslow's hierarchy of needs. But do not think for a minute that someone else should obtain these things for you.
After taking responsibility for your basic needs it is up to you to decide what to do next.  Get a job you love?  Schedule time to do things you love to do?  Find a circle of friends to share life with? Have a child or two to mold into responsible citizens like you?  Move in one direction to meet your chosen goal?  Or float from goal to goal, new idea to new idea?  Again, there is no one right path for everyone.  We should all choose the pleasure for ourselves.
So why do I feel like it is irresponsible to go to NYC?  I have a savings account.  I make some money.  I should be able to enjoy things like this!  But I am so afraid of later in life not being able to provide the things I am responsible for that I save my money.  And I save up my dreams of going places.  So I am left watching other people love their lives while I save...Yes, I am still living.  I still do fun things every day.  Just today I went swimming and watched how my daughter jumps in, swims to me, floats, and spins in the water like she was born to do this!  I don't need to do anything else.  I don't NEED NYC.  I WANT NYC.  And therein lies the struggle of how to live life...

Pigs' Eyes

This might be one of those "otherwise" blogs today!  Tiny and I were driving around and saw a truck filled with pigs.  Of course I'm sure they were going to slaughter but when Tiny asked where they were going I said I didn't know.  We had a nice chat about farmers raising pigs and then selling them.  As we were talking and watching the pigs, I caught the eye of one of them.
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Did you know that a pig's eye looks just like a human's eye?  It was creepy.  The way the sun was shining on the pig's face hid the nose and just highlighted the eye.  I swear I thought I was looking directly into a human's eye. So sad.  Asking for help.  Knowing where he was going and knowing there was nothing he could do about it.  There was not a chance I was going to tell Tiny where those pigs were really going.  Not with that one pig staring at me....Helpless.
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So, what if we are all like that?  All headed towards our slaughter with nothing we can do about it?  In a way, we are, aren't we?  I mean, we live our lives looking for success, happiness, whatever gets us through the days.  And in the end we die.  Who knows what happens when we die.  Maybe we go to Heaven.  Maybe we just rot.  Maybe we reincarnate (and become that poor pig!)  But we do know we die.  And there's nothing we can do about it.  What if our death is really the universe slaughtering us?  I could on about how many of us die in hospital and hospice.  And going to these places is like the pig going to slaughter.  When we get old or really sick we know the end is near.  Do we look sad like that pig?  Or do we hope above hope that there will be a cure and we'll be saved to live another year?
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I really don't know the answer, nor do I even know what I want the answer to be.  But I do know that there's no way I'll be buying bacon or ham anytime soon without seeing that poor pig's eyes asking me to help him!

Freedom of Religion

** DISCLAIMER= We all know this blog is about my thoughts, and my thoughts only. I may do a little bit of research, but most of this is my OPINION only. I keep hearing stuff from various politicians and not really paying much attention to them. But this latest article has taken the cake.

I am a Republican. But, I should clarify, I fall under the category of "old Republican". I am a fiscal Republican and feel that we should all be entitled to make our own money, spend our own money, and invest our own money. If you can't do this wisely and run out of money then it's too bad on you. Figure out another way to make more money and live within your means. Harsh? Nope. Fair!

Now, socially, I lean towards being a Democrat. I truly believe the constitution when it says "freedom of religion". I believe that "all men (and women) are created equal.". The founding fathers wrote the constitution based on these ideals. They did not sit down and say, "we are Christian. How can we screw over other religions while looking like we're giving them freedom?!"

I mean, really Santorum? We get our rights from our hearts which come from God? (as quoted during the debate in Alabama). We get our rights from the constitution! For goodness sake, why do you think we have a constitution?!

I just cannot believe that educated people are saying some of the things these current Republican presidential-wannabes are saying. They are mis-quoting the constitution, they are completely ignoring some amendments (the first!), and they are making America seem like a country full of hypocrites!

From what I understand President Obama is a Christian. This is different to being a Muslim. I don't really care what religion he is because that is the best part of being an American. You can be any religion you want and still be President! We have Freedom OF Religion here in this great country!

Furthermore, President Obama was born in the USA. Who cares where his parents were born? (Santorum, I believe, was the one making a stink about this. What is this guys' deal?). According to the constitution you have to be an American-born citizen to be president. I know this because I always wondered why Arnie didn't run for president. He can't. He wasn't born in America.

The way I see it, I think I should be president. I don't think I am any more knowledgable than the bumbling pack of idiots currently running. But I am a down-to-earth, fair thinker. I can read and understand history. I can understand plain English that says things like "freedom of religion". I don't pretend to know everything that is in the Bible and interpret it to suit my needs. I respect everyone, regardless of religion, because I am American. I could go on, and maybe I will in another blog, but for now I leave you with this one question: Are there any American candidates left out there?!

Yoga vs. Church

Over my life I've been to church-I've believed in God-I've stopping going to church-I've questioned God-I've done a mission trip bringing me closer to God than anywhere else-and I've reverted back to questioning and not attending church. That's where I stand now.

During the "not going to church" times I've found a couple other things to occupy my Sunday mornings. I've recently discovered a Sunday Hot Yoga class. And this has me thinking about spirituality as a whole.

If you look at church as a way for people to feel closer to God, more spiritual, then maybe it works for some people. I know there was something going on in Africa when everyone in the church sang and praised God together. There was a feeling of connectedness. I couldn't say if this connectedness was a connection to God, a higher power, or a group of people all together positive and full of praise. But it was a great feeling all the same.

I've always felt there's something out there - some kind of universal something (real specific and descriptive, I know!) I'm not sure it's one god, or even a group of gods (like in mythology), or just a universal presence. I do believe in karma, though. Karma is sort of like a Wiccan belief (at least at the bare bones of it all) in that when you send positiveness out into the world it will come back to you and when you send negativeness out it also returns to you.

So now you have "connectedness" and "karma" and you add Yoga. Yoga is a practice. Yoga centers a person. Yoga is based on goodness in people and using that goodness to bring out the goodness in other people. We are asked to choose who or what to dedicate our practice to each week and I always dedicate it to my daughter and frequently also my business. I leave hot yoga feeling so positive, relaxed, and full of strength and positive energy. I have never left church feeling this way.

But I know many people have and do each week. And it doesn't matter which church, temple, or other religious building the people I've talked to have attended. I don't think there is anything wrong with getting your weekly positive energy from church. I'm trying to figure out the difference. Why do I feel so good, so connected to positive energy, goodness, and the universe when I leave yoga yet I feel nothing when I leave church? Why do some people cling to their specific religion so tightly yet others will convert without thinking twice? Why do some people feel empty when they miss church? And furthermore, what is it about people that we need any of these things (God, the universe, a connectedness to others, etc) in the first place? It makes me feel that there is something, I just don't know what, holding everything and everyone together.

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New Friendships - male vs. female

The hubby and I were talking the other night about friends I have made in the last several years. We have come to a conclusion, I think, about one big difference in men and women - New Friendships. We want your thoughts on the matter so please comment below and let us know if you agree or disagree with the theory!

Over the years I have always had a few close friends and love meeting new people. I love making new friends and adding to my group of friends. This has been most evident in my life on several occasions:
#1 - I was anti-relationship throughout all of my schooling. The way I saw it, I was going to be meeting more people each time I went to a new school and then when I got a job. So I figured, "Why tie myself down now? There are so many more fish in the sea!" I never thought about it with friends, but it makes sense that this would be my theory with friends as well...
#2 - After I had my daughter I immediately sought out an online group of friends to share ideas, tips, and parenting advice with. I found indymoms.com. While this site has come and gone it was quite helpful in the beginning and helped me meet a lot of other moms. Some of these I've become pretty good friends with; others have come and gone with the site. But I loved the fact that I could branch out online and expand my group of friends.

Hubby, on the other hand, comes off as a little anti-social. One of the things I loved about him in college was his ability to socialize with anyone. I thought of him as someone who I could go out with and meet new people with and have fun with. All is still true except the meeting of new people. I have tried on multiple occasions to introduce him to the husbands of my new friends. He always has negative things to say. He thinks he's the life of the party and gets worn down trying to make small talk with people who "don't care or aren't interesting". He also doesn't seem to meet new people. At all. He has his friends from college - a few are left around here - and a few friends from work. But he hasn't expanded his circle of friends in probably 12 years.

The theory that this is a male/female difference came about when hubby asked me about a friend of mine that he hadn't seen in a while. It got me thinking about her husband. I remembered her saying that he isn't very social and prefers to stick around home. He also prefers to hang out with a small group of friends and he isn't interested in meeting new people at all. Now this friend of mine was a lot like me - very social and always up for meeting new people. So it seemed strange to me that her husband would be so anti-social.
I recently was talking to another friend who is also very social. She made the comment that her ex-husband was like that and it's strange to her that I've been with my hubby for so long since we are so different, socially. Her current husband is very social and seems to be an outgoing kind of guy who likes to meet new people. So, he doesn't fit our theory but she helps build it.

When I think about most of my female friends they are all social. It doesn't matter if they are single or in a relationship. My guy friends who are married were all my friends from college or are friends of my hubby's. So I see them in a social manner. (I wonder how social they are outside of our small group of friends...) My guy friends who are single are also very social. So maybe this is a married guy thing. A guy is social only as long as he has to be. Once he has his mate he doesn't feel he needs to meet new people.

I think it makes a lot of sense to theorize that females are more social and are open to meeting new people/making new friends throughout like. We go through a lot of different stages in our lives and it's nice to have new people to meet along the way. It also makes sense, when I look at it from hubby's point of view, to think that males are not super-social. Traditionally they would go to work and come home to the family. Maybe men don't have the stamina that women do to keep socializing and having fun after a full day of working. Maybe men don't have a "need" to make new friends. Or maybe men are just satisfied with less. Oh the theories could go on and on...

Generations

I'm a thirty-something. My grandparents were the Greatest Generation. My parents are Baby Boomers. My daughter will be the Cyber Generation. I'm kind of caught between generations. Sometimes people send those, "You know you grew up in the 80's when..." e-mails. This is directed at Gen X. Some of these things apply to me (MTV, big hair, "hair band" rock). Some of them I'm left going, "What?! When?! Huh?!" Yet some of the Gen Y stuff (growing up electronically savvy, striving to get ahead) I totally get.
So I find myself stuck between Gen X and Gen Y. It's not a bad thing. I think there is just not really a strong, distinct difference between the two. I have friends in both designated generations. The people I know in both blend in so many ways. The line is very blurred. Why can't they just call us "Generation random letters"?

One thing that stands out the most, that seems to be constant between the X-ers and the Y-ers is our attitude to life. I was thinking today about generations and attitudes.
The Greatest Generation:
Attitude was always about Strength; a Can-do and Will-do attitude; Proud. I love this generation. They embody everything I think of as American. I would be proud too, if I was of this generation!
Baby Boomers:
Attitude seems to be one of Get-ahead; they worked through the Booming 80's taking full advantage of the strong economy; Smart, hardworking, but ready to play through retirement. I'd love to retire like this generation!
Generation Random-Letters:
We're the generation that can't seem to settle down; we can't decide on our lives; of those of us who went to college, very few are doing anything related to our degrees; we've been to career counselors; we've changed jobs and directions in life a million times.
* What are we seeking?
* Why can't we settle down like our parents?
* Are we not happy or satisfied with what we have?
* Do we want too much or are we just infatuated with dreams?

We are surrounded by TV shows where people strike out on their own, or with a group of friends, and seek out happiness in their careers. They make a living working in NYC, acting, starting their own businesses, working free-lance. No one falls into unemployment or dies insurance-less on TV. We see people like Mark Zuckerman who had a passion for designing web sites that bring people together. The man created facebook and is an inspiration to others who wish they could create something so fabulous and profitable! Singers like Taylor Swift and Justin Beiber, neither one a strong vocal talent, make it seem less of a fluke and more likely that anyone can make it as a musician. Do starving artists even exist anymore?
-> If all these people can succeed, then surely my boring life of going to work, coming home, going to work, coming home, going to work, coming home, etc. can change! Surely I can make a living doing something I LOVE, that I am PASSIONATE about!

I think this is what my generation is all about...our lack of defining ourselves is what defines us as a generation...
Makes me wonder what my daughter's generation will be focused on...