Unexpected Accomplishment

This past weekend I accomplished something I wasn't even sure I wanted to accomplish until earlier this year. Back in February or March I had set a goal, kind of as a joke and kind of just to see people's reactions. I started throwing out the idea that I might do a sprint triathlon. In order to see if it might be possible, I started taking Cycle classes. (For years I've had one knee that sticks in the bent position while cycling. It's very painful when I force it to straighten out!)
After a couple of weeks of suffering through Cycle classes I got my knee to relax and stop sticking. I love swimming so that wouldn't be an issue. I'd run 5K and 5 miles races in the past and had already started running the indoor track (my usual end of winter routine) so that was good. It was just a matter of putting it all together, I figured. Yea, I could do this. Why not?!

So I started telling people I was thinking about doing a Sprint Tri. Oh the reactions were not at all what I expected!
* Hubby rolled his eyes (to be expected since he gets tired of me training for things over the summer)
* Daughter said, "OK". Then was just a little surprised when I told her what was involved.
* My dad wanted to know when it was so he could make sure to be there. Wow, really!?
* My brother told my mom he was impressed. This really threw me for a loop!
* Random participants in my class turned their noses up that I would be swimming in the canal. (That's why I picked the one I did!) But then would ask me along the way how training was going.
* A woman who interviewed me for a job was thrilled to hear I had that goal. OK, we just met, but sure put it on your calendar!

Around April I really needed to decide if I was for real or just carrying this joke on a bit longer. I was starting to get a lot of people involved!

May - OK I'm really doing this. Time to sign up! It took me another 3 weeks to get organized and remember to sign up when I had a credit card handy. But on June 18th, I finally did it. I plunked down a bunch of money to voluntarily swim 500 meters in the Indianapolis canal, cycle 20k around the city, and run 5k between the zoo and IUPUI.
> That's a completely sane thing to do, right?
> That's a necessary thing to spend money on, yes?!
> Training up to 2 hours a day is normal, agreed??

I spent Spring and Summer following a 12-week plan I created based on two other plans I found online. It wasn't too bad. I haven't worked out on a more consistent basis since junior high school cheerleading. Six days a week I was doing something. Workouts ranged from 30 minute runs to 2 hour brick workouts. I made the swims longer than necessary b/c I just loved those days. I enlisted a couple of friends to train w/ me and they all lasted 1 day. I was on my own.
But I didn't mind. I found I treasured my time on my own. I don't usually enjoy running and yet those weren't the most difficult days at first. The bike was the worst. I know people thought I was joking when I told them my slow times, but I was working my butt off to get faster! Later in the summer a wonderful woman in my water fitness classes offered to lend me her bike. Wow what a difference! Suddenly, cycling wasn't as hard as running and my run days took over as the most difficult.
Brick days - doesn't that sound intimidating? But I was excited for the first one. I hadn't yet paid my money and wanted to see if I could even get off a bike and start running right away. It was one of my best runs! That sealed the deal for me - there was no turning back now.

At this point I started reaching out to friends who have done sprint and full tris. I was told to sign up for Above Average swimming ability (really? Are you sure??) I was given pointers on how to make the transitions faster. I was encouraged. I was uplifted. I was excited!!!

By July 29th I was Ready. I always go into a race with the mindset that I've done all I could do and whatever happens happens.
> I wanted to finish under 2 hours.
> My hubby said to be fast b/c I've been training so hard.
> My dad said the goal is to finish.

I was feeling somewhere in between finish and fast.

...

From the moment I jumped in that canal (to the joyous sound of my daughter yelling, "Go Mom!!") I stayed focused: Swim consistent; Don't run over that guy but Do try to get around him; Don't speed up just b/c someone else is catching up; Remember you have 20K on a bike and 5K on your feet left to go; Use those arms...

I climbed up the steps, gave my awesome family a fist pump as I ran off to my bike! Goggles & cap off; Shorts, socks, shoes, helmet on; Quick drink of water; Here we go!
Throughout the course of the bike route I passed 2 people. Countless people passed me! I knew they would but I didn't care b/c I was so much stronger at swimming. My friends had been right about Above Average Swimming and being passed on the bike wasn't nearly as scary as I had anticipated. Again the thoughts of consistency ran through my mind. I pushed harder but my legs felt good. I had trained for this. I had done much longer brick workouts than this. I. Was. Strong.

Once off the bike, I ran/walked my jiggly legs back to my spot: Re-hung the bike (why did this take the longest time of all???), Off with the helmet; Quick drink of water; Go run!

My mantra while running is "one foot in front of the other". I usually find someone I can follow to push a little without killing myself 2 miles in. In the beginning I had a guy with a cool American Flag on his bandana. But he stopped to walk...then passed me again...stopped to walk...passed me...stopped one more time...passed one final time and I never saw him again...That's OK. I kept steady and strong. I was actually doing this!
I came around the bend and thought, "Where do I sprint? At what point do I have enough energy left to sprint me across with finish line without dying just before it?" I smiled at my dad who was videotaping me around the corner - and I took off!

I crossed that Finish Line in 1 HOUR, 31 MINUTES, 32.9 SECONDS!!!!!

...

I've never felt stronger in my life. Everyone says you will get hooked once you enter the world of tri's. I hadn't doubted them but I hadn't expected to be seeking out a second race the same summer as my first! That's probably not going to happen, simply due to schedules. But I can safely say you will see me again on the Sprint Tri race circuit. I'm planning 2 next summer. And I can't wait!!!

Insignificant...

We live in an insignificant time. Don't you think?

...

Donald Trump - Kim Jong Un - Russia - Peace - Families - Democratic Republic of Congo - AIDS - LGBTQ - Christianity - Mexican Border Wall - China

...

Now take yourself back about 242 years. Do you know what was happening? Do some math...think about it...If that's too difficult to figure out, go back about 66 million years...Pretend you're a pterytacle...

...

Now come back to 2018. "Look around, look around...how lucky we are to be alive right now", Hamilton, the musical. Do you feel this way? I know I do.

66 million years ago, a comet or asteroid was striking the earth, subsequently killing nearly every living being on our planet.

242 years ago we had just told England to "eff off" and let us live our own lives.

Earlier this summer we praised the President of the United States for meeting with a dictator that the previous president had either met with or considered meeting with (clearly I don't follow politics!) but had also been highly criticized for doing so.

Yet, we still have people in this country working their butts off to pay bills, get medical care for their children, drive home without being stopped by a police office, living their lives as if no one cares if they live or die. Someone does... someone cares...

At this point in history, it's difficult to realize but there is actually still love in the world and people who care for each other person on the planet...And nothing that's happening hasn't already happened in some other time in history. It's all pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of time.

Living in an "Over" Society

We live in an "Over" society, or "Over" world, these days, don't you think? This is a term I'd love to see coined and used commonly to try to eliminate the "over"ness of our culture. But since I'm just one blogger w/ a super small following, I doubt I ever hear anyone else use this term! Regardless of whether or not this becomes a household term, I'd still like to explain the "over" part of our society and see what you think of the idea.

First, it would be very single-minded and ignorant of me to claim we live in an "over" world. This would imply that everyone in the world lived the way people in western countries do. I know for a fact the rest of the world is different, filled with a massive variety of cultures, ways of living, vices, etc. So let it be known that the term "over" society reflects the western cultures of America and most of Europe.

Now, onto the explanation!

We Overanalyze everything: every system put in place, every process at a workplace, every type of instruction, every decision made is revised, revisited, analysed again and again.. What happened to if it's not broke don't fix it? I'm not saying we shouldn't change, but change for the sake of change, is ridiculous and this is what happens a lot. When people over-analyse, they forget to move forward. Instead, it's just reinventing the wheel.

We Overstep boundaries without knowledge. More and more people share their opinion with the world. An opinion which is based on no knowledge or intelligence, simply a feeling or gut response. That's fine; it's our rights as humans to hold opinions based on whatever we want to base the opinion on. However, it's when that opinion is shared as a FACT that is oversteps a boundary. Social media and blogging allow people to feel important and share their unfounded opinions. A facebook post or a blog might get shared on social media and suddenly an average person has overstepped the boundary of common sense and is coming off as an expert. I know you've seen people who "know" the best essential oils to cure scarlet fever! We've all read that bananas, or eggs, or cows milk, or (insert the most recent opinion you've heard here) are killing us. Why do we think that having an opinion suddenly makes us medical professionals or fitness professionals, etc.? It's actually insulting to those of us who have studied one of these professions and actually knows what we are talking about!

We Overshare - showing every step of every struggle you are going through is no longer "something we don't discuss in public". Instead it is praised and rewarded! The more feedback and "prayers" you can get from friends on social media, the more a person tends to over-share. It's a terrible cycle of self indulgence. But do we really want to see the rash your kid got or hear how badly you've been treated by the same jerk again? Remember "overstepping boundaries"? Perhaps this has grown b/c so many people overshare in search of an answer that a professional should be giving them...

We Over-do - we take on too much; we fall too deeply into an idea and we struggle to find moderation. Trying to lose weight? How many diets take it to the extreme?! And people jump on board until they either give up b/c it's too restrictive or they haven't seen success b/c it's not actually healthy at all. Diet didn't work so let's try exercise! But instead of saying, "I haven't worked out in year so maybe I should take it easy". people lean towards, "Sure I'll go to the gym 5 days a week for 2 hours each day! However, that lasts maybe 4 days and then feeling like failure sets in and people quit. How about the politically obsessed? Technology obsessed? Any obsession leads to over-doing it which leads to burn out which leads to unhappiness...

We over eat - obesity! need I say more?

We over expect - throw ourselves into a plan and expect results immediately. No results = no satisfaction. On the flip side, we expect others to do over and above what they are supposed to do or are capable of doing. Expectation not met = no satisfaction. People have limits. People need time to learn. This goes both for projects we take on and projects we oversee (hey, another "over"!)

We over-react! - why do people jump on a bandwagon without thinking? Slow down! Take a breath! Research and form an intelligent opinion! We also see this when people start to get angry - it can escalate very quickly if we're not careful.

Do you see now what I mean by living in an "Over" society? It's gone beyond first world problems and into a whole new dimension of over-ness. Sigh...

Our National Anthem

I just spent the last couple of days learning about the United States' national anthem. We're going through a ton of turmoil in this country and it was the perfect time for me to learn a bit about our history. In fact, it wouldn't hurt the rest of the country to revisit the time of Francis Scott Key & the War of 1812.
I wonder how many people know that the national anthem was written about seeing our flag through the smoke & dawn of a night filled w/ battle against the British. Do people realize that had we lost this battle we wouldn't have a country today?
The protests going on involving sitting or kneeling for the anthem don't make a whole lot of sense when you know how we arrived at this song becoming our anthem. But, it is people's right to protest. And we gained these rights through battles like the War of 1812. So, I actually understand the people protesting the protesters less then the protesters themselves.
All that being said, I think the most interesting fact to me is that the battle in Baltimore was supported by every type of American. There are accounts of men & women helping to prepare for the British invasion. There were a significant number of African Americans fighting at Fort McHenry. People from all over the area came to help with the battle either as military or militia or average citizens helping to protect Baltimore any way they knew how. Every type of person pitched in. And as a result, we defeated the British, saved America, & celebrated w/ a new flag & song.
These two symbols  - the flag and the National Anthem - were a result of a country united. And today they are pulling us apart. What a shame we don't study & celebrate history...

Spiritual Refocusing...

Just a short thought tonight...b/c I needed a bit of a reminder to stay focused...I practice New Kadampa Buddhism and lately I haven't been able to get to my meditations as often as I should. I've been trying to read a book for the past 6 months or so but I tend to re-read sections and never get finished w/ it! So tonight I spent some time reading notes from the past few years' classes, just to get a quick refresher.
I go to classes and read books to learn more. But, in all honesty, I never seem to learn anything new! The spiritual practice of meditating and finding inner peace is so basic and should be simplistic. But of course, if it truly was simplistic then we'd all find inner peace, all live in harmony caring about one another, and all be patient and kind to everyone we meet. World peace would be a reality we could all enjoy!
Alas, this is not the case. Instead, we are filled with delusions that cause us to stray from our inner peace and compassion and cause us to see things through our emotional filters. Every note I turned to in my trusty notebook reminded me to take time to meditate and refocus on compassion for others. The notes reminded me to cherish others, removing self-cherishing from my life. I was reminded of the difference between love and attachment (this one is a big struggle for me!). I re-discovered practicing patience. It is amazing how I can read books, I can sit in classes, yet I forget the basics of Buddhism in an instant!

Meditation is amazing. It truly does refocus my mind on cherishing others, learning to let things and people go that I've become attached to, and helps me find that much-needed and enjoyed inner peace. 

Everything I do, I do it for...me

Something interesting was stated on HBO's "The Leftovers" this past week. Matt is a preacher who comes in contact with another man who refers to himself as "God". In the course of a conversation between the two of them, Matt says everything he's done has been for Him. God's response is intriguing...thought-provoking...phenomenal. He states:
"Everything you've done you've done b/c you thought I was watching. B/c you thought I was judging. I wasn't. I'm not.You haven't done anything for me. You did it for yourself."

Wow.

So I'm sitting here trying to figure out what I want to say about this. I couldn't let such a statement go without commenting on it b/c it's so powerful and true! Let's dissect it...
People who believe in God believe that He's always watching them. He will immediately see if a child gets in trouble in school; He will see if a woman lies to a friend; He will see if a man cheats on a test; He will see everything people do, whether it's good or bad!
People who believe in God believe that they will be judged upon their death. This judgement will send them to Heaven or Hell. For every bad thing someone does, God will make a mark. For every good thing someone does, God will make a mark. Upon death these marks add up and determine the person's fate.
With this in mind, you can see how every action then is a direct result of someone doing something for THEMSELVES. No one wants to go to Hell. Who would want that?

Other spiritual practices have similar judgements with similar outcomes, though not necessarily from a god. For example, Buddhists believe that our karma determines our next lives. We work to build merit so as to eliminate negative karma from our past and help build positive karma in the present. More positive karma leads to a greater likelihood of a higher rebirth. Who wouldn't want that? (And yes, that's the simplified version!)

So it really comes down to a fear of the unknown and protection for ourselves from that unknown. Everything we do...we do for ourselves...

The Stomach Pit

You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you're nervous? The same feeling when you know you've forgotten something really important? Or you suddenly realize you fucked up so badly there's no turning back? Or when you lose someone who is so important in your life?

It's like a giant gaping wound that someone is stirring incessantly...no matter how hard you try to close the hole it won't stop bleeding. No matter how many times you tell yourself, "everything will be fine!" or "I'm sure no one will notice!" that pit remains. Stirring...churning...

Just when you think it's starting to subside, something else stirs it up. Maybe it's not even anything related to you! Maybe it's a news headline about racism or death or natural disasters. But b/c the pit was already opened in your stomach, these ideas rip it wide open again.

There is so much in this world that is beautiful and positive. There are so many things that should fill our stomachs and hearts with love and peace. Yet one little thing can effect our stomach so fully...tear it open and pour salt on the wound...what is it about the human mind that allows this to happen? Why do we find it so difficult to allow the happy and joyous stories in life to seal our stomach pits, calm our nerves, and fill us with peace? As easy as it is to hold onto the pain, it should be as easy to let it go and replace it with happiness.
But it isn't...
It just isn't...