Yoga vs. Church

Over my life I've been to church-I've believed in God-I've stopping going to church-I've questioned God-I've done a mission trip bringing me closer to God than anywhere else-and I've reverted back to questioning and not attending church. That's where I stand now.

During the "not going to church" times I've found a couple other things to occupy my Sunday mornings. I've recently discovered a Sunday Hot Yoga class. And this has me thinking about spirituality as a whole.

If you look at church as a way for people to feel closer to God, more spiritual, then maybe it works for some people. I know there was something going on in Africa when everyone in the church sang and praised God together. There was a feeling of connectedness. I couldn't say if this connectedness was a connection to God, a higher power, or a group of people all together positive and full of praise. But it was a great feeling all the same.

I've always felt there's something out there - some kind of universal something (real specific and descriptive, I know!) I'm not sure it's one god, or even a group of gods (like in mythology), or just a universal presence. I do believe in karma, though. Karma is sort of like a Wiccan belief (at least at the bare bones of it all) in that when you send positiveness out into the world it will come back to you and when you send negativeness out it also returns to you.

So now you have "connectedness" and "karma" and you add Yoga. Yoga is a practice. Yoga centers a person. Yoga is based on goodness in people and using that goodness to bring out the goodness in other people. We are asked to choose who or what to dedicate our practice to each week and I always dedicate it to my daughter and frequently also my business. I leave hot yoga feeling so positive, relaxed, and full of strength and positive energy. I have never left church feeling this way.

But I know many people have and do each week. And it doesn't matter which church, temple, or other religious building the people I've talked to have attended. I don't think there is anything wrong with getting your weekly positive energy from church. I'm trying to figure out the difference. Why do I feel so good, so connected to positive energy, goodness, and the universe when I leave yoga yet I feel nothing when I leave church? Why do some people cling to their specific religion so tightly yet others will convert without thinking twice? Why do some people feel empty when they miss church? And furthermore, what is it about people that we need any of these things (God, the universe, a connectedness to others, etc) in the first place? It makes me feel that there is something, I just don't know what, holding everything and everyone together.

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New Friendships - male vs. female

The hubby and I were talking the other night about friends I have made in the last several years. We have come to a conclusion, I think, about one big difference in men and women - New Friendships. We want your thoughts on the matter so please comment below and let us know if you agree or disagree with the theory!

Over the years I have always had a few close friends and love meeting new people. I love making new friends and adding to my group of friends. This has been most evident in my life on several occasions:
#1 - I was anti-relationship throughout all of my schooling. The way I saw it, I was going to be meeting more people each time I went to a new school and then when I got a job. So I figured, "Why tie myself down now? There are so many more fish in the sea!" I never thought about it with friends, but it makes sense that this would be my theory with friends as well...
#2 - After I had my daughter I immediately sought out an online group of friends to share ideas, tips, and parenting advice with. I found indymoms.com. While this site has come and gone it was quite helpful in the beginning and helped me meet a lot of other moms. Some of these I've become pretty good friends with; others have come and gone with the site. But I loved the fact that I could branch out online and expand my group of friends.

Hubby, on the other hand, comes off as a little anti-social. One of the things I loved about him in college was his ability to socialize with anyone. I thought of him as someone who I could go out with and meet new people with and have fun with. All is still true except the meeting of new people. I have tried on multiple occasions to introduce him to the husbands of my new friends. He always has negative things to say. He thinks he's the life of the party and gets worn down trying to make small talk with people who "don't care or aren't interesting". He also doesn't seem to meet new people. At all. He has his friends from college - a few are left around here - and a few friends from work. But he hasn't expanded his circle of friends in probably 12 years.

The theory that this is a male/female difference came about when hubby asked me about a friend of mine that he hadn't seen in a while. It got me thinking about her husband. I remembered her saying that he isn't very social and prefers to stick around home. He also prefers to hang out with a small group of friends and he isn't interested in meeting new people at all. Now this friend of mine was a lot like me - very social and always up for meeting new people. So it seemed strange to me that her husband would be so anti-social.
I recently was talking to another friend who is also very social. She made the comment that her ex-husband was like that and it's strange to her that I've been with my hubby for so long since we are so different, socially. Her current husband is very social and seems to be an outgoing kind of guy who likes to meet new people. So, he doesn't fit our theory but she helps build it.

When I think about most of my female friends they are all social. It doesn't matter if they are single or in a relationship. My guy friends who are married were all my friends from college or are friends of my hubby's. So I see them in a social manner. (I wonder how social they are outside of our small group of friends...) My guy friends who are single are also very social. So maybe this is a married guy thing. A guy is social only as long as he has to be. Once he has his mate he doesn't feel he needs to meet new people.

I think it makes a lot of sense to theorize that females are more social and are open to meeting new people/making new friends throughout like. We go through a lot of different stages in our lives and it's nice to have new people to meet along the way. It also makes sense, when I look at it from hubby's point of view, to think that males are not super-social. Traditionally they would go to work and come home to the family. Maybe men don't have the stamina that women do to keep socializing and having fun after a full day of working. Maybe men don't have a "need" to make new friends. Or maybe men are just satisfied with less. Oh the theories could go on and on...

Generations

I'm a thirty-something. My grandparents were the Greatest Generation. My parents are Baby Boomers. My daughter will be the Cyber Generation. I'm kind of caught between generations. Sometimes people send those, "You know you grew up in the 80's when..." e-mails. This is directed at Gen X. Some of these things apply to me (MTV, big hair, "hair band" rock). Some of them I'm left going, "What?! When?! Huh?!" Yet some of the Gen Y stuff (growing up electronically savvy, striving to get ahead) I totally get.
So I find myself stuck between Gen X and Gen Y. It's not a bad thing. I think there is just not really a strong, distinct difference between the two. I have friends in both designated generations. The people I know in both blend in so many ways. The line is very blurred. Why can't they just call us "Generation random letters"?

One thing that stands out the most, that seems to be constant between the X-ers and the Y-ers is our attitude to life. I was thinking today about generations and attitudes.
The Greatest Generation:
Attitude was always about Strength; a Can-do and Will-do attitude; Proud. I love this generation. They embody everything I think of as American. I would be proud too, if I was of this generation!
Baby Boomers:
Attitude seems to be one of Get-ahead; they worked through the Booming 80's taking full advantage of the strong economy; Smart, hardworking, but ready to play through retirement. I'd love to retire like this generation!
Generation Random-Letters:
We're the generation that can't seem to settle down; we can't decide on our lives; of those of us who went to college, very few are doing anything related to our degrees; we've been to career counselors; we've changed jobs and directions in life a million times.
* What are we seeking?
* Why can't we settle down like our parents?
* Are we not happy or satisfied with what we have?
* Do we want too much or are we just infatuated with dreams?

We are surrounded by TV shows where people strike out on their own, or with a group of friends, and seek out happiness in their careers. They make a living working in NYC, acting, starting their own businesses, working free-lance. No one falls into unemployment or dies insurance-less on TV. We see people like Mark Zuckerman who had a passion for designing web sites that bring people together. The man created facebook and is an inspiration to others who wish they could create something so fabulous and profitable! Singers like Taylor Swift and Justin Beiber, neither one a strong vocal talent, make it seem less of a fluke and more likely that anyone can make it as a musician. Do starving artists even exist anymore?
-> If all these people can succeed, then surely my boring life of going to work, coming home, going to work, coming home, going to work, coming home, etc. can change! Surely I can make a living doing something I LOVE, that I am PASSIONATE about!

I think this is what my generation is all about...our lack of defining ourselves is what defines us as a generation...
Makes me wonder what my daughter's generation will be focused on...