Why More Isn't Always Better

 #runningsucksbutidoitanyway

You read that right. Running sucks. But sometimes it's really fun. And sometimes it clears my mind. But other times it just sucks. Until I'm done. And then my mindset determines if it was a good run or not. It's all a mindgame, like every other endurance sport.

But I digress, here's why More isn't always Better...

Back in Sept. I saw a challenge from Athletic Annex: 

100Days - 100 Miles!

Oh that's a challenge I can get behind! Last year I did the Dumpster Fire run challenge where we had to run 20 miles in 20 days for the Dumpster Fire that was the year 2020. No problem. In fact, one of my clients did it with me. There were a few days where we would skip but we'd make up for it the next day so after 20 days we both had run 20 miles. What's 5x this amount?? I can do it! So I signed up in the facebook group, set my calendar reminder, and Sept. 22nd started a 100 day running streak. Here's how it went:

Week 1 - I knew I had wanted to do at least a mile every day and probably only 3 days a week of something longer (2-4 miles). Sept. was still warm so I was able to run outside and feel good. I did do some longer runs with quite a few 2-2.5 mile runs and even a couple 4 miles in there! I was feeling pretty good.

The first 25 days - I definitely had some days that were dragging but for the most part I felt pretty good overall on my runs. I would have some slower days that I turned into intervals...I had a terrible treadmill day on a stormy afternoon...but I kept at it. I posted that we were 1/4 of the way through and felt really good about it!

Halfway there - my pace on a mile run had really gotten fast! Never in my life have I run a mile faster than 9 min. and I did an 8:46 one day!! So I would start feeling good about this and then remember that when I race it's always a minimum of 3 miles so I should focus on longer runs more often. These mostly felt terrible. Especially as the weather started to get colder and I had to layer up more or run inside. I stuck it out for much longer this year than ever before running outside, though, so I should be happy about that. And again, my short one mile pace was impressive for me!

Just over halfway until about day 90 - things really started to get tough. There was never a day I didn't want to run, but there were many days I went into it with the mindset of, "it's only a mile. 9-10 minutes and you're done. Just get it done." Nearly every time I pushed myself to layer, use the "hot feet" my mom got me, and run in a coat outside I would finish a mile under 9 minutes. Finally, with a few weeks left I finished a treadmill mile at 8:52. Yes, treadmills are super hard for me! I can't figure out why I can't go faster but it really took a toll on my mental ability to run longer or faster indoors.

But again, I was struggling with the idea that I needed more longer runs. Just being fast for a short time wasn't helping me in the long term. I was fine with one mile on days I would cycle but even some swim days left me feeling like I needed a longer run (not b/c my body felt like it needed more but b/c my mind was telling me Tri season would require more). Strength training days were flexible b/c if I knew I was going to do a lot of legs then I'd be fine with one mile. But if I had planned more of an upper body class I felt I should at least do 2 miles. It's all so ridiculous, and I KNOW this. But here's the catch

"I had set a goal to run every day for 100 days and I'll be damned if I don't finish it."

This was MORE than I had ever done before. But I have a friend who has run at least 30 minutes a day every day for nearly 800 days! What was 100?? It should be super easy. I mean, I know it's a lot, but I wanted to keep pushing myself to finish it out. I wanted to show that I could do more and I would be better for it.

The Last 10 Days - first of all I miscalculated and thought I had 10 days left when I really had 11.  I figured this out with 7 days left, thinking it was 6. And at this point I was about ready to call it. I had never dreaded running as much as I did each day of the last 10 days. The weather was horrible, wet, and cold so these were all indoor track or treadmill runs except for Christmas Eve and Christmas. Each run seemed to be slower than the last, no matter how short I decided to make it. Even my outdoor Christmas runs were above 9 minutes (Christmas Eve trail mile was just over 10!). My legs were killing me about 1/4 quarter mile into each run. I was trying to do much less strength training to save my legs for my daily run but it didn't seem to matter. My mom got a Peloton and I was so excited to run with the instructors but still found it incredibly difficult to not just keep running but to maintain the recommended pace. The discouragement I felt as my times started to get worse was so frustrating. I had clearly peaked somewhere around day 65 or 70 and by the last 15-20 runs I was just holding on. 

--> More was not better. It was making me worse: Making me a slower runner; making me feel old; making me wonder if I needed more to eat (or less b/c some days my stomach felt super full after just a snack!) I hated it. I don't like to rush time but I found myself saying, "only a few more days until Dec. is done!" I truly was not running for enjoyment anymore.

And here I now sit, writing this blog entry on January 1st, 2022. I can honestly say I did not miss running today! I completed a 100 day run streak and all I wanted to do today was swim. So I did! And my legs were tired but it felt good to be in the water. I am not planning any swim, cycling, run, or strength challenges. More is NOT always better and that's OK.

*** May I remember and carry this wisdom with me into the
new year!!  :)

Swim Update...and Other Stuff

I was just rereading some of my posts on this blog and back in Dec. I told the world my goal to knock off 2 minutes from my 500m open water swim. I am happy to report that as of Feb. I had knocked off 14 seconds from my 550y swim!

Then COVID19 closed my pools and it was too cold to swim outside for months.
I'm exactly back where I was last summer...Damnit and eff it all.

My favorite tri (Tri Indy) just opened up for registration and it's in 2.5 weeks. I know I will not finish under 1.5 hours so I'm debating if I want to do it at all. I did sign up for one in Aug. (the final Eagle Creek Series one) and for some reason I'm OK not beating that time. But Tri Indy - that will just crush me if I do badly. I don't know what the difference is other than it will be my 3rd time doing it and I feel like I should be better by this time. I have the best suit so transitions should be faster. My cycling is ever-so-slightly faster but that really depends on the day. My swim is exactly where it was last year so forget making any progress there...And just like last year, as I make progress on the bike I lose progress on the run to the point where I feel like I'm dying most runs and today I was so damn slow the 3rd mile was 10:59! WTF?!?! I've never been THAT slow!

I am not sure what is holding me back b/c last week I announced to the Atomic Betty world that my new goal this year, instead of beating time, was to just have a lot of fun. So why can't I feel like Tri Indy will be fun? I love swimming in the canal! The bike and run are mostly flat so easier than Eagle Creek. I really think it's just my damn mental game.

And this is literally one of the worst blog posts I've written. It's just all about me and my messed up mind when it comes to competition! So sorry...of course, since very few people actually read my blog, maybe I'm not sorry, haha!
If you've read this far, thank you! I hope you see that if you're struggling w/ your mental game, you are not alone. BTW, if you are mentally struggling with anything, please call your doctor or health care provider. And if you are contemplating suicide, please, please call 800-273-TALK(8255)

***********************************************************************************OH WOW, I can't believe I didn't publish this! I started it back in July (weirdly it says it was published July 9th but I don't think I actually published it...Anyway! here is the final word on how my Tri season went:

So back when I wrote this I was feeling defeated about Tri Indy. Since then I randomly decided to do a tri in June at Eagle Creek. Now I never do the June race b/c it's usually too cold but 2 things prompted me to give this one a try #1 - the weather had been in the high 80's and I LOVE warmer weather! and #2, I won a wetsuit last off-season and figured the water would be wetsuit legal (it usually is in June) and what a better way to try out a wetsuit in a race than a race I had never done before and didn't care about the results.

Here's where it gets fun! Morning of the race I am all packed with my gear including my wetsuit. I'm so excited to have a fun race and wear a wetsuit! I show up and find out the water temp is 80...um what?! That's 2 degrees warmer than wetsuit legal!! So now I have lost half the reason I'm doing this race, but so have a lot of Atomic Betties and I'm only training for more sprint tri's whereas they are training for Oly and Ironman distances.

OK this was going to be a quick blog update which has quickly turned long! I ended up getting 5th or 6th in that race. 

But the point of this blog is Tri Indy. So...I show up at Tri Indy having trained the previous week in 90+ degree temps. I was loving it and hoping my nerves didn't get the best of me during this race. The day before the weather just dropped in temp and I didn't know how that would effect the water temps. The canal is not deep or wide so I figured whatever the temp had been (76!) would have warmed up all week. So I didn't bring my wetsuit...And Murphy's Law holds true all the time. It was fucking wetsuit legal!!! But I hadn't  brought mine I guess I was going to freeze and my dream of Top 4  would not happen this year.

*** Since I clearly can't finish this blog (it's now Jan. 1st, 2022!) I'll cut to the chase - 

The water did NOT feel warm at all but I was not the only person wetsuit-less so that made me feel a bit better. Plus, I had brought clothing options for after the swim including longer socks if needed, pants if needed, and a long sleeve shirt. I figured I'd see how I felt after the swim, not worry about transition time, and just get it done! Here's how it ended:

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!?! I wanted a Top 5 and finished 3rd!!!!!!!!!!! I also beat my previous time and finished under an hour and a half! I won that sweet pint glass you see and a bottle opener, to boot! (And you can see I decided just to go with the long socks. This was a great decision b/c so many people called out to me during and after the race that it was extra motivating. I love the Tri community!)

So, I went on to do the Aug. Eagle Creek sprint tri and I finished 2nd in my age group! This lovely and tough lady beat me by about 10 minutes, which is pretty much the average for how much she's beat me in the past. I'm totally OK with that b/c that's a lot of time to take off!

And that was how my Tri season ended for 2021. I did get a bid for Nationals and chose not to go for a variety of reasons. But after these two amazing finishes, if I get a bid next year (and I should), I am going! :)