Marriage...ages of merriment?

Marriage - an institution that binds together two people. They pledge to be together until one of them dies. They grow - apart or together. They learn more about each other with each passing year. Some of this is good and some is annoying. There are a variety of sayings that go along w/ marriage but my least favorite is, "Marriage takes work". This is where I get stuck. Why? Why should it take work to love someone? Isn't that stupid? Isn't that contradictory? That's exactly why I don't do Valentine's Day. I don't need a day to tell me I love someone! If I love them, they know it b/c I tell them!

Sorry, I digress...the point of this blog is to sort out my thoughts. I've now been married for 18 years. In that time we've loved and laughed, we've argued and cried, we've been indifferent and boring. We've worked at this marriage. I've given up on this marriage at least a hundred times. And yet here we are - locked into this institution...and I'm back where I started. I don't regret being married. I've gotten the most wonderful daughter out of it! And I'm not saying there haven't been any good years b/c there have been fabulous vacations, loving support in times of stress, and years that just flew by b/c all was well. But perhaps we've grown apart while being bound together. We've always been respectful of each other and allowed each other freedoms to live. I know that even if we weren't married we'd still be a part of each other's lives. So why do we feel blah? Why do I feel that marriage isn't ages and ages of merriment? Why do I feel it's forced togetherness w/ no lasting ties other than that piece of paper?

18 years is a long time. When people first get married they have this sense that a long marriage is a success. They strive to be like the grandparents who were married 50 years! They will be the couple that lasts! For some people this is a success.
Being able to stay with one person for a very long time is some kind of achievement.
For other people, being able to stay with one person is comforting. They know what they have and don't really want to know what else might be out there.
For other people, staying in a marriage is the best thing for the kids.
For other people they truly are soulmates and they can work through anything, keep up the excitement and fun, and rekindle love at will.

I'm coming to the end of these rambling thoughts and thinking I should have done a history of marriage. I'm sure there were societal reasons why it began...perhaps I'll look that up and add a second blog to this series! Stay tuned!
In the meantime, I've come to no conclusion but hopefully I've gotten you thinking. Evaluate your ages of merriment - do you believe they represent a success or are you bound to another person for ages and ages b/c you are living in an institution? I don't believe I've made my decision yet...